yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
