yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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