so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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