she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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