Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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