Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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