I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
