Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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