Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
