i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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