now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I love having hate sex.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
