If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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