when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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