I think I am morally bankrupt
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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