Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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