that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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