Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
