I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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