Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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