I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
