I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize