Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
