My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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