Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize