I'm really into asian looking animals
I look better un-naked...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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