he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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