Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
