It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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