i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He did a backflip because drugs
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
