My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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