I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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