try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
