Having a random hookup so left but love u
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize