I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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