So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
