TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We don't watch enough power rangers
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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