From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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