Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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