So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
