I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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