Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
