My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Did we literally take a cab across the street
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
