what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize