He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
