you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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