I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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