Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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