her vagine was all disorganized.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
