White coat. Heels.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
