do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
