Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
