Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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