once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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