do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
