Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
