He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
