i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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