I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
birth control should be required to get into college
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Found the puke drawer
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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