She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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