so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
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hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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