Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Randomize
